Couples who have good marriages and enjoy each other’s company will go through this virus pandemic leaning on each other, teaching their children some valuable lessons, reevaluate their lifestyles, and so on.
But, what if you don’t have a good marriage? What about couples who are facing one or more of the following…?
- One spouse has been having an affair
- One spouse has decided that it’s time for a physical separation
- One or both spouses have been emotionally or even physically abusive
- Parents with differing parenting styles have created a home of havoc that has created marriages problems
- …And more
If you find yourself in a crisis marriage during these crazy, unprecedented times of families unable to leave their home or even attend church events and visit loved ones, there is hope, but it will require wisdom and patience.
Here are 5 survival tips to help get you through, and possibly save your marriage!:
- Create an area that you can be alone–If this is impossible due to the size of your home or behavior of an out-of-control family member, you may only have the bathroom. Wherever it is, have something positive to either read or listen to for at least 10-15 minutes at the beginning and end of each day. During this time, pray first. Ask God to give you wisdom (see Proverbs 3:5-8, along with other verses on wisdom).
- Stretch, deep breathe, and walk–Even if you are unable to go outdoors due to weather or other reasons, you can stretch and take deep breaths at least once an hour. Drink plenty of water and say things to yourself such as; this is not going to last forever, God has this even if I don’t understand it right now, I will be stronger emotionally when this is all over regardless of the outcome, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Phil 4:13), etc.
- Organize your home–Use this time to clean and organize. An organized home will help your mind to feel less cluttered, and if you have children, not only will it create a better environment, but you will be teaching them how to cope positively in a crisis. Go through photos or keepsakes and if possible, share them with family while organizing.
- Provide hope for at least one person each day. Think of someone you can text, email, or call every day. Try your best to provide hope, even if you find yourself complaining about circumstances. When talking to others you might be surprised how humor seeps in most unexpectedly. Remind yourself daily (hourly if you must) that you are not alone in this and it’s not only about you. Others are facing much of the same thing (see 1 Peter 5:12). Trust us, we hear from them daily…and in fact, we are writing this post as an encouragement to you!
- Last, get rest and balance your intake of alcohol, sugar, and snack food. Do your best to get the kids (if you have them) in bed at a reasonable time in order to get the rest you need as well. You must take care of yourself in order to be prepared for a very different world. Jesus warned us that there would be tribulation in the world: “Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows, but take heart, because I have overcome the world” John 16:33.
In closing, please know that you are all in our prayers. We understand marriages that are in crisis, which is the reason these 5 survival tips do not depend on what your spouse does. You have no control over your spouse…only over you. We have witnessed marriages being saved when only one spouse makes positive changes in the midst of a crisis.
The Lord knows that your marriage is in crisis, but He is not confused as to what you need. He created you. He does expect you to trust Him, obey Him, and lean on Him during this time. If you do these things, you will not only survive, but thrive in the midst of this crisis.
Please email if you have a specific prayer request. Hang in there and stay strong.
