shadow couple

Without discussing it with your spouse, take a moment and rate the level of your marriage.

_____Level One: Arguments happen, but I am committed to our marriage.

____Level Two: Quarrels are left unresolved and there is a lack of intimacy in our marriage.

____Level Three: In the midst of arguments, one or both of us voice threats of separation or     divorce.

____Level Four: At least one of us is seriously contemplating separation or divorce.

If you rated your marriage at level two or higher, you marriage is in crisis. If you rated it at a level one, are you certain your spouse would rate it the same?

We receive calls daily from distraught husbands and devastated wives whose spouses have announced they want out of the marriage. According to most of our callers, the announcement took them completely by surprise. We also receive calls from frustrated men or women who are unhappy in their marriages and want to attend couples counseling or seminars, but their spouses refuse to participate.

Regardless of the level of crisis in your marriage, there is hope. But, first you must be honest with your spouse and put a plan together. Here are 4 things you can do:

1. Ask your spouse to rate your marriage, and share your answers together.

2. Ask your spouse if he/she sees anything in the marriage that needs to change in order to make it better. The key is to listen with the intent of putting a plan together and not to become defensive. Your spouse will only shut down if your conversation results in an argument.

3. If your spouse is willing, pray together. Ask the Lord to bless your marriage and help you come up with ways to make changes that honor Him. If your spouse is reluctant to pray out loud, suggest praying silently while holding hands. God created marriage, and He is the business of miracles when we turn to Him for help.

4. Come up with at least one thing that you both agree should change, and take steps to make it happen quickly. Your marriage is worth it!

Marriage 911 God’s Way is dedicated to providing resources and support for couples in crisis, and equipping churches who want to help.