On December 7th, 2009, while watching a marriage video, my husband broke down in an hysteria. He was crying so hard I thought he was having a heart attack.
“I have something to tell you”. He didn’t need to. I not only guessed he was having an affair, but I even added something more startling, “She’s pregnant, isn’t she?”.
For two and a half years we had been having marriage problems. I suspected that he was having a midlife crisis because he was so distant and disconnected. But, until that night I never suspected another woman–let alone a baby!
I had struggled with depression my entire life, but the climax and worst depression I have ever suffered was over the next two years. We tried to work things out the first year, but I kept catching him in lies about seeing her and the baby. I hadn’t been eating or sleeping for months, and I took on all the guilt for our failing marriage. I didn’t want to live any more. Finally, I moved out and decided to work on me.
Everyone I knew, including some pastors, kept telling me to just “move on” and either legally separate or divorce. I don’t remember anyone telling me to wait for a miracle. But, God was telling me different. God was telling me to wait, love my husband, and trust Him. Reading the book of Hosea, and through a wonderful Christian counselor, I began to feel hope. Then someone at a church service reminded me of the promises God made to Abraham. She said, “sometimes God wants us to be willing to let the promise go in order for us to truly realize and see His amazing faithfulness”.
And, so I did. I let my husband go. I gave him to God while I continued to work on me. My counselor kept saying, “Let’s work on you, and let God work on the marriage.”
As God so often does when we move out of the way and allow Him to work, our marriage was saved. God not only brought my husband back, He brought him back a better person than before. I have forgiven him and the other woman. But more importantly, I love the child they had together.
March, 2007, was the beginning of the affair. March, 2014, is the seven-year marker of the worst and best event of my life. This seven years was God’s time–His time to work and heal and develop the person He made me to be.
God showed me who the “I AM” is, and He’s so much bigger than I ever dreamed.
By Tessie, as told to Michelle Williams.